What to Expect from Your First Couples Counseling Session

So you and your partner are considering Couples Counseling for the first time and wondering what to expect.

Feeling fear and reservations about what this experience will be like is natural. Some common concerns couples might feel are: “Will the Couple’s counselor take sides against me?” or “Will this session dredge up some painful experiences that might be embarrassing?” These feelings are natural and reflect just how much your relationship matters to you, making it all the more important to approach this step with care and support.

Preparing for your first session

In your first session, you and your partner will meet together to discuss your relationship. I will ask a series of questions to help me understand your relationship better.

Firstly, I will ask about the history of your relationship, including how you met, how long you’ve been together, and what initially attracted you to each other. I will also ask about the early days of your relationship, including what it was like and how it has changed over time.

Once we have covered the basics, I will ask more detailed questions to help me understand the areas of distress in your relationship. For example, I will ask about some of the things you argue about, how you handle arguments, and whether there are any recurring issues that you struggle to resolve.

I will also ask about difficulties with intimacy, including what happens when you want to get close but find it difficult, and who initiates closeness and sex. By understanding these issues, I can help you identify any patterns in your relationship that may be contributing to these challenges.

Overall, my goal is to create a safe and supportive environment where you can openly discuss your relationship and work towards finding solutions to any issues you may be facing.

Goal Setting

For couples counseling to be successful, both partners must be equally invested in improving their relationship. Each partner must recognize their role in the cycle of distress, take ownership of it, and work together to break the pattern and create a healthier dynamic. Relationships are not one-sided, and both partners play a role in creating both positive and negative experiences. By acknowledging and taking responsibility for their own actions, both partners can work towards a more fulfilling and satisfying relationship.

In couples therapy, setting goals offers direction and helps build a stronger relationship by addressing specific issues and challenges. By recognizing their role in the relationship and working towards positive change, couples can build a stronger foundation for a happier, more fulfilling future together. Ultimately, a successful relationship requires effort and commitment from both partners.

Choosing an Emotionally Focused Couples Counselor

If you find yourself constantly arguing with your partner or experiencing feelings of disconnect and frustration, seeking the help of an Emotionally Focused Couples Counselor could be a valuable step to take. Through EFT, you and your partner can better understand the negative patterns that are causing distress in your relationship. By identifying and addressing these patterns, you can develop healthier ways of interacting with each other and break free from the negative cycles that are keeping you stuck. Working with an Emotionally Focused Counselor can help you learn new communication skills, build trust and connection, and create a more fulfilling and satisfying relationship with your partner.

Would this Couples Counselor be a suitable match for my partner and me?

Trusting a therapist with your most intimate and cherished relationship requires feeling comfortable and finding a good match with your therapist. It’s important to know that not everyone clicks with every therapist, and your therapist understands this. To determine how well your couples counselor aligns with your goals, you can ask yourself some questions such as:

• Do I feel comfortable with them?

• What is their therapeutic approach or style? Does it resonate with my personal preferences and values

• What are my specific goals for couples counseling, and does the counselor’s approach and expertise align with those goals?

By reflecting on these questions and being honest about your needs, you’ll be better equipped to find a counselor who can guide you toward the healthier, more fulfilling relationship you desire. Remember, the journey toward healing and connection starts with taking that first step together.

Ready to strengthen your relationship and experience the benefits of Emotionally Focused Couples Counseling in Montclair? Schedule your first session with me. Take the first step towards a happier, healthier partnership.

Click here to schedule a 15-minute complimentary phone consultation.

Stevette Heyliger, Couples Counselor, NJ. Specializing in Marriage and Couples Counseling in Montclair, NJ

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in New Jersey, specializing in the treatment of Couples using Emotionally Focused Therapy. I also treat individuals with anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, and more. In-person sessions are available in Montclair, and online therapy is available for all residents of New Jersey.